I'm Crazy

Apparently I have the best smelling and tasting feet. Ever. Cats come to sit on them, crawl into my shoes upon taking them off. Dogs sit on them as well. And mosquitoes find them most succulent as you could play "connect the dots" or something on my feet. Through clothing too! Shoes? Doesn't matter. They find those feet. I was outside fighting off the swarm and by the time I got inside the building I had two bites on the forehead, and 15+ on my feet. I kid not. But I have pink press on toenails today so life is good...albeit a bit itchy...

American culture is a curious thing. We fret over a sport star’s twisted ankle or the ill-fated marriage of celebrities, yet lose no sleep over a hundred million children living in the streets. THE SUNFLOWER

“When I consider the hardships that some others must face, my troubles seem foolish and petty–a succession of quixotic battles. To God, perhaps, they are all windmills.” THE LOCKET - ESTHER HUISH’S DIARY

Bobby Pins.

Mystifying men for years this little piece of metal holds great significance for women who have their hair done. By themself or by others.

Where would I be without the bobby pin? Certainly my trademark braid bun would be a lot more difficult to afix to my head.

But it still looks like a torture device. Why on earth would a woman jab that into her head?

I'll answer that when you explain why you put a noose around your neck every morning.

The day starts and already your morning is filled with choices. You can either embrace the day or curse it. You can either love life or scorn it. You can either make up your mind it will be a good day and make it so or spend the whole day wishing you were someplace else and find it is not enjoyable. Love your job or not. Smile or not. Love who you are or not. Take control of what you can and wield it for the better or stand by as the day plows you under.

These are the choices to be made regarless if you want to or not. Not choosing is a choice. I choose to embrace life and live it and nothing you can do or say to me or not do and not say will change the fact that I am living.

That you haven't really lived until you have peeled potatoes with a pocket knife, as in swiss army.

Guess what got done while I was out on vacation.

NOTHING!!

*shakes angry mountain fist of doom*

A devotional book of mine was purchased as a gift a Christian Bookstore and I was pealing off the price tag when I noticed a word above the barcode that was revealed when I pulled off the barcode the bookstore had put over it. “Fiction.” And that struck me. Bookstores all over have “self-help” sections, “inspiration” sections, so on and so forth. Chicken Soup for the Soul falls into both of those. But this devotional book was deemed to be “fiction.” The Christian Bookstore’s barcode said “Motivational, Inspirational, Devotional.” No wonder they put one over the built in barcode on the dust jacket!

Fiction is defined by www.dictionary.com as:
1. the class of literature comprising works of imaginative narration, esp. in prose form.
2. works of this class, as novels or short stories: detective fiction.
3. something feigned, invented, or imagined; a made-up story: We've all heard the fiction of her being in delicate health.
4. the act of feigning, inventing, or imagining.
5. an imaginary thing or event, postulated for the purposes of argument or explanation.
6. Law. an allegation that a fact exists that is known not to exist, made by authority of law to bring a case within the operation of a rule of law.

Basically, they are telling me that this devotional book is “made up” and thrown in with the rest of the novels written about imaginary things. Something not to be taken seriously, after all God doesn’t exist, right? He’s imaginary so someone writing about him should be classified as fiction, right? Someone’s going to be in for a hell of a shock. (Pardon the pun.)

Now I’d like to share some insights from this author, Joni Eareckson Tada, from a different book Glorious Intruder. When you read something over and over again, I have a tendency to just skim over it. But that minimizes the opportunity for the “wow, how did I miss that?” moments. Let me share some of them.

1) In Psalm 23 David writes that “my cup overflows.” I came to think of this as a good thing. My cup is overflowing and I have more goodness than I know what to do with. However, “Most folks tend to equate ‘overflow’ with ‘waste’ or ‘squandered resource.’” So is this a bad thing? Think about it like this, “God doesn’t intend your life to overflow down the storm drain or evaporate into the air. He wants it to soak others! The spillover of His love and goodness in our lives is to benefit and encourage those around us. … He’ll fill that cup of yours to the brim, and then pour in more. And over it goes, right over the edges of your soul. Your love will stream out in all directions.” I know that I have a difficult time giving time, energy, and resources to others when I feel that there isn’t even enough for me. Perhaps it’s selfishness, perhaps it is self-preservation; if I can’t take care of myself, then I can’t take care of you. Now, if my cup is overflowing, I not only can take care of myself, I have more than enough to take care of you too.

2) “The world says, ‘What can’t be cured must be endured.’ Christians say, ‘What can’t be cured can be enjoyed.’” What? This isn’t a novel concept, I’ve heard it before. But I think it’s so true and it’s what sets believers apart from others. It’s what makes others ask “HOW can you do it? HOW can you go on smiling even though such a terrible thing has happened/is happening?” Other’s notice because it is UN-natural, your actions speak louder than words so people see what you do and how you react and want to figure out how you do it.

Think about all the examples of people in the Bible rejoicing despite their situation. Paul says that he “most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities” 2 Corinthians 12:9. He sang praises to God while in prison. Beaten and then chained to a guard in prison. And he wasn’t quite about it, it filled the prison and the other inmates listened. To top it off, we’re not talking about plush prisons with a bed, toilet, and cable TV. We’re talking cold, damp, dank, dark, Roman prisons. That sounds as unnatural as it comes to me.

3) Romans 8:37 In all these things we are more than conqueror though him who loved us.

Read that again. What does it mean to be MORE than a conqueror? Joni suggests that more is not just conquering something, but accepting it. “To conquer is a human accomplishment, something achieved through willpower, grit, and sheer determination.” (Get there on my own power.) “To accept goes beyond that. It requires something more than human strength. Something more than a conqueror. It requires the intrusion of God.” (Get there on God’s power.)

4) John 3:14-15 Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.
I’ve read this many times. In case you don’t know the story, the Israelites were in the desert and poisonous snakes came and were killing the people. They cried out to God to forgive them and God told Moses to make a bronze snake and put it on a pole. Whoever looked at it would live even if he was bitten. The correlation is that Jesus was lifted on the cross and whoever looks at him and believes he died to save them will be saved. Joni suggests that there’s more to it than that. That “So Jesus make Himself to be a serpent of sin because Jesus BECAME sin for us. Just how do you think the Father looked at His Son who had becomes sin?...the Father turned His back on His Son, He was repulsed over the loathsome object of sin Jesus had become…just like many of us want to turn our backs on a disgusting, repulsive snake.” I thought that was a unique take on something I’ve heard so often.

I'll post more later hopefully, I have some interesting dreams to share.

Last week I was home sick with the flu. And I think that's the sickest I've felt in my adult life if not ever. Not in the most pain, but the most sick. And it wasn't too bad, standard fever, upset stomach with bucket at the ready, cough of doom, etc. But when the marrow in my bones felt like someone was burning them, the fire hurt so bad and I couldn't get it to stop.

So, that's what I've been up to. ^^ That and watching a bunch of anime: Ranma 1/2 Season 7, Gundam Wing, W~Wish, and Record of Lodoss War. I think I may have watched something else in there too...

Check it out people. The humane society names their wee little criters after whatever happens to be "big" at the time (e.g. Harry Potter, Valentines day, etc.). Check this one out. Is the fact that this is a rat a coincidence?

It takes faith, when you boil it down, it takes faith. Or if we want to call it something else, it takes an assumption, a theory, or a premise of what the truth is. You can no more prove the existence of God than you can prove that evolution is truth.

So while I don’t think that that this professor would be so dense to not see the train of thought of this student, it does a nice job describing what evil is.


"Let me explain the problem science has with Jesus Christ." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

"Yes sir," the student says.

"So you believe in God?"

"Absolutely."

"Is God good?"

"Sure! God's good."

"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"

"Yes."

"Are you good or evil?"

"The Bible says I'm evil."

The professor grins knowingly. "Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a moment.

"Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?"

"Yes sir, I would."

"So you're good...!"

"I wouldn't say that."

"But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't."

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"

The student remains silent.

"No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. "Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"

"Er... yes," the student says.

"Is Satan good?"

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No."

"Then where does Satan come from?"

The student: "From...God…"

"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"

"Yes, sir."

"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?"

"Yes."

"So who created evil?" The professor continued, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil."

Without allowing the student to answer, the professor continues: "Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?"

The student: "Yes."

"So who created them?"

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. "Who created them? There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized.

"Tell me," he continues onto another student. "Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

The student's voice is confident: "Yes, professor, I do."

The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"

"No sir. I've never seen Him"

"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

"No, sir, I have not."

"Have you ever actually felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelled your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?"

"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."

"Yet you still believe in him?"

"Yes."

"According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?"

"Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith."

“Yes, faith," the professor repeats. "And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith."

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of his own. "Professor, is there such thing as heat?"

“Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."

"And is there such a thing as cold?"

"Yes, son, there's cold too."

"No sir, there isn't."

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain.

"You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

"What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?"

"Yes," the professor replies without hesitation. "What is night if it isn't darkness?"

"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?"

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. "So what point are you making, young man?"

"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed."

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. "Flawed? Can you explain how?"

"You are working on the premise of duality," the student explains. "You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"

"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do"

"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

"Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.

"To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean."

The student looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out into laughter.

"Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched, or smelled the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir. So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?"

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his ace unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. “I guess you'll have to take them on faith."

"Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life," the student continues. "Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?"

Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God.

God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

I'm a putzy klutz today. >.< I managed to completely smash one of my glass tumblers this morning. And oh, those things called appendages? Yeah, I keep smacking them around on things. One might think I didn't LIKE them or something. I'm looking forward to the end of the day when I can go home (hopefully without incident *knocks on wood*) and hide from the world for the evening. Oh yeah, and clean up all the broken glass as it happened as I was going out the door this morning. *shifty eyes*

For Christmas I received Joni Eareckson Tada’s new devotional book, “Pearls of Great Price.” I am getting her autobiography from the library. (For those of you who don’t know Joni, she was in an accident which left her paralyzed from the neck down. She discovered new ways to express herself and draw herself closer to God. She paints great pictures by using her mouth to hold the paint brush.)

There was a devotion that stopped me in my tracks and made me go “wha?” and re-read it. Too often it’s easy to just read something and go “yeah, yeah, I know. I’ve heard it all before, there’s nothing new under the sun.” So on and so forth. But every once in a while something jumps out and I’ll go “*head smack* Why didn’t I see that before?” or “That’s an interesting way to state that.” And perhaps it is because she isn’t just saying these things, she has lived them that makes even more profound.

Begin quote:

“Would you like to know what you really believe about God? I’m not talking about what you say you believe, or what you ought to believe, but what you truly do believe. Would you like to see the truth about you that God sees?

“Well you can. You can actually know what’s way down deep in your heat. And here’s how: The next time you suffer, watch how you react. Watch what happens in your head and heart. Take an attitude check. Because nothing reveals the stuff of which your Christian beliefs are made than tough times. Maybe that’s why the Bible says, ‘Rejoice in suffering’ and ‘Welcome trials as friends.’ Maybe it’s because then we can know what we’re really made of.

“…the fact is, God already knows what’s in your heart. He just wants you to know what’s in your hearts. You may be facing some keen disappointments today…It’s hard. But it’s also strangely helpful. Because when you find out who you are and what you really believe, you’re facing the truth. And remember, the truth always sets you free.

“What have your recent trials or setbacks revealed to you about your faith and trust in our Father? That insight wasn’t meant to crush or discourage you. It’s an encouragement to set aside distractions and seek him with fresh urgency.”

End quote. (Bolding emphasis mine.)

Wow! Sure I knew trials test me, sure I knew that heartache would make me stronger, sure I knew that God never sends me something I cannot handle with his help. But to hear someone say that these things show me what’s in the deepest recesses of my heart just blew me away. I read it and then went, “What?” Reread it and just was awestruck.

Perhaps it’s not that profound, perhaps it’s obvious to everyone else, but it struck me in a way I hadn’t thought of before. It rephrased something so often heard (and thus sadly discarded) into something new.

It’s as if God smacked me upside the head and said, “I am in control. There is a greater plan than just you and the world you know. Sure there’s sin in the world and that’s why bad things happen but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn something from them. I want you to grow closer to me. Is that what you really do when something bad happens? Honestly? What about this time or that time? Search you’re heart and mind, we both know you have been selfish. I have given you a gift to see what’s truly there, what I see that others don’t.”

And then His embrace, “It’s ok my daughter, I forgive you. I Love you. You are my own. I am always here to pick you up, no matter how many times you stumble and fall. Remember, I never give you more than you can handle with my help. Don’t try to do things on your own, don’t push me aside, don’t keep me as the last resort, don’t make me a God that sits on a shelf uninvolved in your life. I want to be involved so make me an active participant everyday in every activity. I am not a God who leaves when it storms. And I’m not a God who is too busy to talk with you.”

What goes around comes around. I was the one getting drunk on roma_invictus ship and now he's drunk on mine. At least we make more on my ship. Hmmm, does that show that I work more than he does?

Every year there seems to be a song that tugs on my heartstrings. Last year it was Strange Way to Save the World. Lyrics below.

This year it is Steven Curtis Chapman's All I Want. Lyrics also below.

Here's his website: http://www.stevencurtischapman.com/

He works with Shaohannah's Hope which was established to care for orphans
by engaging the church and helping Christian families reduce the financial
barriers to adoption. http://members.shaohannahshope.org/site/PageServer



"Strange Way To Save The World"

Sure he must have been surprised
At where this road had taken him
'Cause never in a million lives
Would he had dreamed of Bethlehem
And standing at the manger
He saw with his own eyes
The message from the angel come to life
And Joseph said...

[CHORUS]

Why me, I'm just a simple man of trade
Why Him, with all the rulers in the world
Why here inside a stable filled with hay
Why her, she's just an ordinary girl
Now I'm not one to second guess what angels have to say
But this is such a strange way to save the world

To think of how it could have been
If Jesus had come as He deserved
There would have been no Bethlehem
No lowly shepherds at His birth
But Joseph knew the reason
The love had to reach so far
And as he held the Savior in his arms
He must have thought...

[CHORUS]


"All I Want" by Steven Curtis Chapman

Well I don’t know if you remember me or not
I’m one of the kids they brought in from the home
I was the red-haired boy in an old green flannel shirt
You may not have seen me, I was standing off alone
I didn’t come and talk to you, ‘cause that’s never worked before
And you’ll probably never see this letter anyway
But just in case there’s something you can do to help me out
I’ll ask you one more time
All I really want for Christmas
Is someone to tuck me in
A shoulder to cry on if I lose
Shoulders to ride on if I win
There’s so much I could ask for
But there’s just one thing I need
All I really want for Christmas is a family
Well I guess I should go ahead and tell you now
If it’s really true about that list you have
Somehow I always seem to end up in a fight
But I’m really trying hard not to be bad
But maybe if I had a brother or a dad to wrestle with
Well, maybe they could teach me how to get along
And from everything I’ve heard
Sounds like the greatest gift on earth would be a mom
All I really want for Christmas
Is someone to tuck me in
A shoulder to cry on if I lose
Shoulders to ride on if I win
There’s so much I could ask for
But there’s just one thing I need
All I really want for Christmas
Is someone who’ll be there
To sing me “Happy Birthday”
For the next 100 years
And it’s OK if they’re not perfect
Well, even if they’re a little broken, that’s alright
‘Cause so am I
Well, I guess I should go
It’s almost time for bed
And maybe next time I write you
I’ll be at home
‘Cause all I really want for Christmas
Is someone to tuck me in
Tell me I’ll never be alone
Someone whose love will never end
Of all that I could ask for
Well, there’s just one thing I need
All I really want for Christmas
All I really want for Christmas is a family
Just a family
That’s all I really need

I went shoe shopping yesterday because my foot is feeling better but not perfect yet. So I thought I could upgrade from my tennis shoes to something a bit nicer but not the dress shoes I have that completely without good support. I wore some dressier shoes for our board meeting yesterday morning and I tell you, those shoes came off so fast after the meeting!

So I go to Target and look around. Flats are in but have no support…others looked close enough to tennis shoes why bother, and then there’s heels…then I see them! Good support AND arches. And I liked them so much I bought them in brown and black, something I’ve never done before! HAHA And even better, they were on sale! Show me the shoes. The funny thing was that the brown ones were $5 more than the black. Um, ok. So I asked the lady at the checkout why that was. “There were more black ones than brown ones left.” “So what you’re saying is…that they are more just because they are brown.” “Yes.” Ok, good to know.

It's my 10 year anniversary of being a black belt. Just thought you'd all like to know. ^____^

I brought cupcakes that dakara_suki, my sister, and I made and decorated. Everyone has agreed that they are too wonderful looking to eat to which I say, "Well someone better eat them!" And one brave soul ventured forth and discovered that they are as delicious as they look and it really is a shame not to eat them. And others have followed suit. It's a good thing, I can't eat all the cupcakes on my own. Well, I spose I could...

I have my new ergonomic keyboard!!! I'm sooo excited!

Also, this pattern is great, I must make some!

I'm re-reading Furuba again. First time since finishing the online translations (that's right, I read the translations, without the pictures, I'm an addict, I admit it). And all the great little differences from the anime. And all the forshadowing that wasn't obvious unless you knew what was going to happen.. Ah, it's wonderous. And a weekend of fun, relaxation, and teaching others to beat up, erm, defend themselves, is coming up soon.